18
Nov
08

A Strange Day

Today should have been a happy day…unquestionably happy. My Continental Cables Scarf pattern

in the current issue of Crochet! Magazine is quite a hit and I have been receiving compliments since the beginning of the weekend. Despite the apparent bravado, I am really quite humbled at the reaction and am thankful that, finally, this may be my big break. Time will tell,  but I feel optimistic.

But, then I get a call from my lawyer with the bleak news  that, in its current statis, my disability appeal is probably not winable. It seems that, had I made my living as a jackhammer operator, given the current condition of my health, I would have no problem with my application for disability. But, because my work experience has been sedentary, I cannot be deemed 100% disabled and therefore would most likely be denied once again. It seems that my doctor has a reputation of non-cooperation  is the disability process. That does not surprise me. I get the distinct impression that he has his own agenda when treating me, seldom listens to what I have to say and never writes anything down…documentation that is critical in this whole process.

My current insurance expires at the end of the month. Before re-applying, I will be changing doctors. I still may struggle with the disability appeal,  but I need a physician who works with me, not against me.

So, on a day when I should be elated, I am a bit disheartened. To make things worse, I can’t seem to finish any of my design projects. I have three patterns waiting to be written and another on the hook, begging to be completed. But, I have no will right now.  I don’t even want to go to my S&B this evening. I don’t think I’d be very good company. Maybe today is the day to just do nothing and not beat myself up over it. Tomorrow is another day.

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